I like pondering what I would do in hypothetical situations. Who needs real planning when you can think about what would happen in any given situation that has no connection to your current reality? But questioning Josh about what he would do is even more fun than thinking about what I would do.
So when the crunchy quiz recently started going around again I did not just take it myself; I also asked Josh to look at it so we could discuss our answers. We each answered the questions as if we had children and we lived in our own little ideal world.
I think that it could be grand fun to laugh at our answers in 10 years, so I am going to post them here. For those of you with children who are horrified at my choices, please remember: I do not have any children. This is just a quiz, not a judgment of your choices, nor even a promise of what we would actually do.
1. Do you have a homebirth?
Agreed:No – alternative birthing method(birth center, CNM in hospital, hypnobirthing, hospital birth, ALL natural without any drugs of ANY kind)
The funny thing about this answer is that it is really so many answers. And in my mind there is an enormous difference between the “alternative birthing methods” which are clumped together here. Josh is fine with anything other than homebirth. The unusual thing is that he thinks homebirth is perfectly safe, he just does not like the concept.
2. Will you circumcise?
3. Do you use cloth diapers?
Agreed:Yes – wash own
I would actually be quite open to elimination communication, but I think that it really depends upon the child. Josh had not heard about it before and did not think much one way or the other.
Hmmm… All these “agreed”s are getting a bit boring. Let’s get to the disagreements.
5. Do you co-sleep?
Me: Yes – part/all of most nights
Josh: No – but room in with baby. Baby has own bed in your room
Josh said that he thought that I did not want to co-sleep. I said that using a co-sleeper counts in my mind. My mother has said that she could not sleep much with a baby in bed becuase she was always afraid of hurting the baby. I know that is not a rational argument since one is much less likely to hurt the baby if one is a light sleeper, but I am obsessive enough to think that I would have the same issue.
8. Do you believe in/practice child-led weaning; even if that means breastfeeding for several years?
Me: Yes – up to 2 years
Josh: No – wouldn’t consider it
It turns out that Josh’s younger sister nursed until she was 4 or 5, so he is not a fan of the concept of child-led weaning. I said that I think it is great if a baby can be breastfed for two years, though I do not know that I would have the patience to do it myself. Josh said that it does not count as “child-led” weaning if you wean the child at 2 when he or she is still interested in breastfeeding. He has no problem with 2-year-olds breastfeeding. I cannot actually imagine myself breastfeeding a 2-year-old, so really our answers should be reversed.
9. Do you tandem nurse/nurse during your pregnancy?
Me: Thinking about it
Josh: Yes – nurse during pregnancy and tandem nurse
I had never seriously considered tandem nursing before reading Trena’s blog. My mother always said that her milk dried up during pregnancy and that a woman’s body was made to be pregnant or nurse, but that doing both at the same time was too draining. But now I can see both sides of the issue. Tandem nursing seems like a lot of work for a woman’s body, but then there are the arguments about excess milk production in the first six months anyway, so who knows. In any case, I think that extended breastfeeding is great for those for whom it works.
10. Would you/have you ever breastfed/fed someone else’s baby or have someone else breastfeed your child?
Me: Yes – would do it
I would have no problem with breastfeeding another woman’s baby if there was a need for it. But I would not want anyone else feeding mine unless there was a serious problem. I am far more concerned about disease transmission than I am Western cultural norms. I would consider inducing lactation for an adopted baby except that I am not convinced that it is worth trying to mess with hormones. As long as we have access to high quality formula, I do not see a great jump in quality to induced breast milk.
11. Do you eat organic/whole/natural foods and limit your meat?
Me: Yes – complete grow own/buy organic, shop only at health food store, grind own wheat, vegetarian, etc.
Josh: Yes – grow some of own food, buy organic, use whole wheat flour, bake own bread, eat some meat occasionally
First of all, we’re clearly talking about ideals here. I was actually quite pleased with Josh’s response. His current consumption of meat is quite limited because I do not cook meat, and it turns out that he is perfectly happy.
13. Do you homeschool?
Me: No – wouldn’t consider it
Josh: Yes – will homeschool for now
This is one of two subjects that we fight about. Josh has become far more positive about non-homeschooling options since we first discussed this issue while dating. I even got him to admit that some preschools could be a good option for some children. I am quite willing to plan our lives around good schools, but I really do not see us homeschooling unless we are unreasonably wealthy.
19. Do you use natural cleaning products/etc
Me: Yes – make own
Josh: Yes – buy
We already use baking soda, vinegar etc. for most everything already, but apparently Josh was unaware since I have been doing most of the cleaning the past few months while unemployed. We still use generic dish soap though. Does anyone have better suggestions?
Do you have crunchy disagreements with your spouse, significant other, or extended family? Please feel free to tell me why you disagree with my views. I am quite willing to consider other perspectives, and it is hard to offend me since most of this is not even a part of my actual life.
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