End of Summer
Summer is just about over in New England. Despite the glory of fall, I still find the end of summer sad. This year it is especially melancholy because I feel as if I have not really lived the summer. There were a few wonderful weekends tossed in, but for the most part my summer was sucked into a draining job which provides me with no illusions of contributing to the greater good of humanity.
I spend 6:00-7:00pm each Friday at a local Adoration Chapel. This evening I found that I spent a solid chunk of time in “adoration” thinking about shallow things from work. The realization came along with the knowledge that I want all of the busyness of my life to be things that I will be glad to bring to Jesus. Perhaps I should scratch “things” and make it “people”… I cannot yet be alone with God most of the time, but I can work toward meaning rather than mere survival.
Autumn always feels like death to me, and this year I am glad of it. I feel quite ready to die to all of the material comforts that keep me trapped in a job which kills the soul.
Oh, my, this post rings so true for me. I haven’t posted much about it (I will later, I’m sure, but it’s all too close to get any perspective other than “wahhhh! I am miserable there!” from me right now.)
It’s sucked much of my happiness away and I admittedly find myself angry. I so very much want to give back more to the world, and make a more important impact. I hope to have some movement on that front in the near future.
Stick with it – your words here and your decisions to make an impact where you can are important. We all need to bolster each other and continue to praise jobs well done. Whether those are in difficult tedious workplaces, or places of worship, or with dear friends, every word of encouragement and understanding helps another person.
I remind myself of that as often as I can.
One thing I won’t miss about New England is the short summers and the long winters. There is no balance.
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