See that comment section below this post? This is your chance to talk about alternatives to the therapeutic use of the pill!
I’m on the pill. It isn’t a long-term solution (at least I hope not!) and I would be thrilled to find a better solution sooner rather than later.
I intend to reference my experience in several posts in which it will not be relevant for commenters to rail against the pill and the evil of women such as myself who take it. Instead I offer this post for the comments of those who care and know more than I, or who just need to vent about their hatred of the pill.
And, as always “the pill” in this context should be read as any of the typical forms of artificial hormones frequently used for contraception but also used for therapeutic (non-contraceptive) purposes. Thus “pill” includes the shot, patch, etc. etc.
What would you do if your hormones were horribly out of whack?
What would you do if you had a body like mine?
First, let me tell you a bit of what it would be like if you did nothing for treatment.
- You would be in debilitating physical pain for about a week and a half of each month. During the rest of the time you would have pain strong enough that you would never forget about its presence.
- You would be tired. No, make that exhausted. Who knows how much of the exhaustion comes directly from the messed-up hormones, and how much from the chronic pain? It does not matter, either way, there are only a few hours of each day during which you want anything more than sleep.
- You would be unable to think clearly. Again, who knows how much of this would be the direct result of the hormones, and how much the result of the fact that you are constantly in pain and exhausted. Either way, you’d be too foggy-brained to think through why exactly you couldn’t think.
None of that sounds too bad, does it? Sure, pain isn’t fun, but you’re tough.
But think a bit about the ramifications:
You would not be able to be employed. It would never work because about one in three days would be a sick day. It would not work because you would not be able to hold any job which demanded clear thinking, much less a job which required any physical effort.
You would not be able to stay home alone with a child. There would not just be the issue of the days in which you cannot get out of bed without vomiting. No, far, far scarier is the fact that you cannot think clearly. So maybe you’d place the infant car seat on top of the car while getting the toddler situated… and then drive off with the infant still on top of the roof. Or perhaps you would set the house on fire while trying to make a simple lunch. In any case, if you have children and a spouse who cannot be at home constantly you would have to have some sort of in-home childcare.
For a few days each month you would not be able to go more than ten minutes away from a bathroom. It does not matter if it is your sister’s wedding that is an hour away in the country, you could not attend unless you were okay with sitting on towels soaked with your own blood.
You would not be able to have close relationships without crushing your beloved under the weight of your illness. You would be constantly needy in the most desperate, unable to give-back sense.
Those are just a few of the issues, but hopefully enough to let you see that doing nothing really isn’t a good idea.
So we start with something.
Would you change your diet and exercise?
How would you change your diet? Do you honestly believe that soaked organic oats and fish oil is going to cure this sort of thing?
How would you exercise when exercise improves circulation… which takes even your best days and fills them with cramping?
Would you take painkillers?
That could enable you to function well enough physically to take fewer sick days and perhaps hold down a job if you are lucky enough to find one that can accommodate you. You’ll still be in pain though, you’ll still have trouble thinking, and you’ll still be exhausted.
And, of course, there are all the side-effects of painkillers. It is not just the prescription painkillers which you will need for the worst days that are a problem, even the OTC painkillers increase your risk of heart attack, stroke, miscarriage, etc.
So, let’s say you’ve changed your diet and now have a little more energy, and take painkillers and can function a bit better.
You still can’t carry on normal conversations, care for children, or have anything resembling a social life.
So what would you do?
Do you try “natural” remedies that have all the risks of the pill and then a hundred times more?
Do you try random drugs prescribed for off-label uses not approved by FDA?
Do you accept that perpetual pregnancy is the best solution and pursue fertility drugs?
Do you shut down your cycle with harsh male hormones because at least it isn’t the pill?
Do you take the pill?
I am sincerely interested in what you would do. I have read so many comments about how the pill is evil and how there is always a better solution, but I always come away with the feeling that the commenter or blogger knows nothing about severe hormonal issues.
What am I missing?
I don’t know that I’ve given this issue much thought because I have been blessed not to have to live with the type of health problems you describe. I do think that the Pill is overwhelmingly used in this country for sinful purposes, but does that mean that it is inherently evil? In your situation, it obviously allows you to live a normal life, and from your other posts it is clear that you approached your decision thoughtfully and were mindful of the Church’s teachings. I am sure you are not alone in your situation, and I am sure you would rather not be in the position where you have to medicate yourself just to live a normal life. I think ultimately this is a decision that has to be between a woman and her husband and her doctor. One thing I have noticed, both as a married but childless Catholic and through observing the experiences of friends, is that people are so quick to mind each others’ business especially when it comes to parenting/pregnancy related issues. People say the Pill is evil and there are always better solutions. I think this is usually the case, but usually is not the same as always. We can all benefit by keeping others’ situations in mind when we choose our words.
“I think this is usually the case, but usually is not the same as always. We can all benefit by keeping others’ situations in mind when we choose our words.” Well said.
I’m on the pill for endometriosis of the bladder. And yes there are Catholics who have told me that that’s still not okay, that I need to go to a NaPro doctor (yet not one has offered to fly me to one…I live in Montana, peeps!), that it’s not OK because it’s not curing a problem, only treating it.
I can’t imagine that exploratory surgery on my abdomen is somehow better than taking a pill. Yes, there is a small chance I could ovulate abnormally, have sex, and then get pregnant whilst on the pill. That’s how my sister was born. And because of that, there is a pretty minute chance that I could have a miscarriage caused by the pill, most likely before I even knew I was pregnant (because if I knew, I would stop taking it duh!). There’s also a chance I didn’t know I was pregnant and took some Aleve and had a miscarriage that way.
We just went off the pill to try to conceive…and the thought of being off it for years (1 to get prego, 9 mo to be prego, then breast feeding) is so, so depressing. My abdomen feels like I have a knife stuck in it. People who tell me I am sinful because I am trying to survive it by taking medicine either a) haven’t experienced this, or b) were lied to and taught that they had to be better than the church’s teaching which says BC is okay for endo/dysmenorrhea, etc.
I know a lot of people who have a bad experience on the pill, but they are all different. Mine used to give me migraines until I went on a low-dose one. It is amazing how much clearer headed, well rested, happy I am without being in constant pain. To me that’s worth it.
FWIW, I understand that pregnancy often solves endometriosis…so it’s possible that if you do conceive, you’ll be on the way to a solution. I’m not a doctor, but that’s one thing I heard repeatedly while I was experiencing infertility (which also included mild to moderate endometriosis).
I know that Jackie will be fine since she will have the option of going back on the pill after pregnancy, but the idea that pregnancy is a health solution (for debilitating hormonal problems) terrifies me because making a baby and then not being able to care for it is horrible.
The second Q&A here resonates with me:
http://centerforendo.com/askcec.htm#fertility
Yay for trying to conceive! Normally I feel like people need to chill out and learn a little patience in waiting for pregnancy, but I hope it happens RIGHTNOW for you.
I don’t even know what you can safely take for pain while seeking pregnancy. ::sigh::
In any case, hopefully you’ll get pregnant soon and that it is a pain-free time. My understanding is that pregnancy and the first few months of breastfeeding are supposed to be quite similar to being on the pill since the pill is just mimicking pregnancy in shutting down ovulation. Which is all great, but how many of us should really sign up for perpetual pregnancy?!
IT is so true that it is very easy to shoot off comments about how the pill is evil unless you have lived through hormonal hell. I finally figured out NFP after trying so hard to make sense of it for over two years . Well if switching to MArquette can be considered figuring out NFP
But would you know …… i have severe hormonal imbalance which explains why i was never able to make sense of it ….As you can imagine my doctor proposed that i get onto the pill as soon as possible and i was heartbroken…..after everything i had been through to try and figure out NFP
I havent yet made the switch but really because i dont want to have to relearn NFP -
With respect to your comment “Well if switching to Marquette can be considered figuring out NFP” — Of course it can! NFP isn’t one-method-fits-all; different methods work best for different people, and it sounds like Marquette was what worked best for you. Finding the right method is as much a part of figuring out NFP as learning the method.
I agree that Marquette totally counts! And I am sorry that you haven’t found a good solution. I wish that there were better options available to all!
First off I would not tell someone else what to do. This is a very personal decision. Myself… if I’d gotten to the point that bc was the only option left I’d be sure I was charting on top of that and abstain during fertile periods to be safe.
Personal experience wise…. I was lucky. Mine went away after I had kids. I don’t know if it was because of having kids or switching away from traditional menstrual products (because all can, but not necessarily do, help). Before that I kept myself drugged. I took way too much advil. It went to Aleve (and I had no clue about the consequences of that at the time). Real doses of pretty much everything stopped working because I was taking so much that week or two a month. Had one or two hospital trips (iv drugs were good). Thankfully I had a good boss once I first started working that was super nice about it. My last one wasn’t so much (not sure how I survived her on multiple levels lol). Looking back I wish we’d taken me in to a dr about it because it wasn’t normal… but my family brushed it aside as every woman goes through that much pain and that it was normal to spend a week curled in a ball.
Anyways, I survived it in an overly drug induced haze, but I don’t recommend that for multiple reasons.
While on the pill you do not ovulate so there would be no fertile pills. The only time women do is when it is completely irregular/unexpected so there would be no way of knowing when it is.
Isn’t it weird how some of the typical menstrual products can make things worse?! I am very glad that having children made things better for you. That is huge.
And I agree with you that a drug induced haze isn’t a great solution.
To me it’s a no-brainer question. You have medical issues and you’re treating them with medicine. I’m glad there is anything at all out there to help you function. You will always have people who cannot relate, think they know everything, and are quick to judge. I cannot relate to your specific issue so I assume you have put enough thought, research, and prayer into your decision and wish you all the best.
I agree with Michelle. There will always be people who will judge you, no matter what you do. It is impossible to please everyone, so I say these kinds of decisions are between you and God, and no one else. As I wrote recently, you don’t get more “heaven points” for avoiding the pill any more than you lose points for going on it. There’s no such thing, and people need to stop acting like there is.
I’ve always agreed with this in theory, but sometimes it is so challenging to live (not because I was/am concerned about what others think, but because of what I think).
I would continue to do what you are doing, until you feel call to actively pursue a pregnancy at which point I would try and swing the surgery to clear as much of the endometriosis as possible and pray that, as others have mentioned, post-pregnancy the symptoms do not return to the same extent.
You make it all sound so very reasonable.
And that is a good thing!
I have also been criticized for doing what I have to in order to function every day of my job. The semi-surprising thing? My female friends (most of whom are Catholic) fully support the decision. It is the males in my life who question it. In this, I think we return to the fact that it is hard for people to understand something they have never experienced. I personally don’t think it’s evil – it’s what I have to do to appear normal.
I am glad that you have found ways to function! And I once knew a group of Catholic young men who would say things like “if adopting a sibling-set of 5 children stresses a couple so much that they need to abstain to postpone pregnancy, then they clearly shouldn’t adopt.” Hello?!
I agree with the earlier comment from Michelle…from the symptoms you describe you have a problem/disease/disorder which is caused by your body working in a way that its not intended to. A medical problem deserves medical attention and most likely, medical solutions. I would personally recommend to someone in this situation who asked what I thought (I wouldn’t go free-wheeling this advice…I’m not a professional!) to try the ‘easy’, less invasive solutions (although changing diet/exercise is never really ‘easy’) before the more drastic medical solutions. From knowing you and reading your blog, this is exactly what you’ve done. It really pains me to know that people are actually making you think your solution is inappropriate, even if its just things said to you in your past that haunt your thoughts. You have considered this from every which angle and deserve that acknowledgement and respect.
Pain isn’t fun, but you’re tough. Pain as universal emotion. Everyone feels it. And yes, lucky if you’re tough enough. Take it as a challenge.
Interesting. I understand that the pill is an unacceptable form of birth control for Catholics and should be to all who believe life begins at conception. It is also unacceptable as a needed medication?
Do we take other medication that could prevent pregnancies?
I’m not challenging, I’m pondering, as I haven’t really thought about that before. I know that when my mom was in college she turned down the pill as a solution to painful problems like this, but it went away after a couple of years and she didn’t have to wrestle with that dilemma any more.
“It is also unacceptable as a needed medication?” No, it is acceptable (according to the Catholic Church) as medication.
And yes, we do take other medication that could prevent pregnancies. NSAIDs (standard painkillers) are a big culprit.
Hiya! Found your blog via Catholic Mom’s Journey. We use condoms because I do not want the artificial hormones in my body. This is not a moral issue for me.