I am not who I am today

You reap what you sow.

Except that you don’t reap when you sow.

And yet the sowing itself is reaping what was previously sown.  After all, you sow only because of what you have previously done which has gotten you to this new place, to this new need to create something different, to grow something more.

We like to separate doing and being. Then we say that the latter is more important while at the same time demonstrating that it is really the former that is key.

But if being is the result of doing (and I sincerely believe that it is) then what I am today, my being, is a result of yesterday’s doing.  Thus I am not who I am today, I am–in my lived experience at least–what I did yesterday.

Only tomorrow will I really be the one I am today.

And this is all terribly frightening because I am a half-decent person today because I was good years ago.  But I am not doing good today, and so someday soon I will be what I am today, and then I shall be dreadful indeed.

But this is all very confusing, and so instead of asking if you could follow any of that, I will ask this far more pressing question:

Can you explain how people can be disgusted at the dissection of fetal pigs while at the same time loving bacon?

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4 thoughts on “I am not who I am today

  1. CM

    I think I like this post. I say I think, because my head is spinning a bit right now, but it makes sense. Partly because I like who I am right now, but I have to consider what some of my choices today are leading me to become tomorrow.

  2. Mark S.

    Very profound. The admonishment to be Christ to others suggests that it can only be accomplished by doing. Failure to do means failure to be. The good works that we do result in a strengthenef faith…a good way of being. Very well constructed.

    You are doing good, you know. Writing this for us is a good. Hearing the whisper of the Spirit is hard sometimes and in my life I get into a nasty personal blame game instead of, well, listening then doing. You made me think about this tonight and I thank you, dear Rae.

  3. Mark S.

    Oh yeah….the dissection and bacon question. I did the former to learn and understand. It was a hard but real necessity. The latter…I have a taste for bacon. Neither is evil but it is also true that either or both is not for everyone.

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