The other day my father went grocery shopping with me at Aldi. As we headed out the door he asked whether I had an agreement with Josh that I would not spend more than a certain amount without checking with him first. I said that I did not, and my father laughed and said that perhaps it was a good thing he had asked me when Josh was not around!
He then explained that he was thinking about it because one of my sisters has such an agreement with her husband, and her neighbors all have similar arrangements.
I said that while I can see why such arrangements would work for others, they don’t make sense to me in my life because I am most likely to spend money in frequent, smaller chunks. Also, it would probably really annoy Josh if I asked him about every $100.00 purchase.
My dad responded that he was not talking about $100.00. Each of the women in my sister’s neighborhood had limits in the $300-$500 range. It was my turn to laugh, as I asserted that $500 for those women is the equivalent of $100 for me given our relative economic circumstances.
We talked more about finances later, and as I was about ready to spew my idealistic views, I stopped myself. I told my father that I realized that I was in no position to speak. While we have struggled with finances due to straight up lack of income, I have no idea what it is like to struggle with a husband who is self-centered financially.
It makes sense that I have a lot of lofty ideals about money, and that I still firmly believe that fighting about money indicates a lack of love, honor, and desire to share a future together.
But this just means that I am unqualified to talk about money for normal people, because to others money is just money, right?
I later realized that for any expensive purchase I could think of, the issue with buying without consulting with Josh would be that I would need his input on the actual item. Large purchases generally require months of planning and saving and rehashing value. How on earth am I supposed to just buy something without consulting Josh on the item itself rather than just the price tag?
This is not to say that I have not had to change my ways with money since getting married. I have, but that is a story for another day.
What is the meaning of money in your world? Do you think that married couples should have a rule about a dollar amount over which they will consult the other before making a purchase?
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