Nothing Like Being a Receptionist to Make One Want an Engagement Ring
I spent most of last month temping as a receptionist. I like it. It keeps one humble as everyone automatically assumes that you are stupid. Plus there is lots of time to read blogs and check Twitter.
But I forgot about other aspects of what people see in receptionists.
Guy leaning on edge of reception desk: Reading anything good?
Me: No.
Sorry, Trena! Your blog is good, but I was too busy reading it to explain how great it is!
Guy: Got any plans for the weekend?
Me: No.
Actually both days were full, but I wasn’t thinking about my answer. An entirely unintentional lie. And a stupid one since I should have been paying attention to what he was asking and informed him of precisely how busy I was. But I did not care enough to really listen to him.
Me: You?
Guy: Well, I’m trying to find a date.
Me: Ah
Suddenly paying attention and dying of repressed laughter.
Guy: But it is not going very well. It is tough being young around here!
Me: Well you should try some of the interns.
Guy: Yeah, but they’re all leaving for the summer.
Me: Maybe they’re looking for one last end of summer fling. Good luck.
See, the thing is, I’m not an especially attractive woman and I’m quite happy to avoid “male attention.” This combination generally works very well. But when working as a receptionist I suddenly had to deal with a fair amount of flirting and even a desperate guy looking for a date. I am not sure if I have lost my youdon’twanttoflirtwithme skills or if simply being a good receptionist means making others feel as if they brighten your day and consequently guys imagine that you see them as irresistible.
In any case though, I found myself thinking that a bit o’ bling might have been handy. I am quite opposed to diamond engagement rings in real life, but I am not above a fake ring in order to convey the truth that I am uninterested.
I ran the idea past my loyal twitter followers and the only downsides that they came up with were that a cheap fake might turn my skin green or else make “Mr. Right” think that I was already taken. Word on the street is that Amazon has some descent non-skin-greening options and I have since added the word “wife” to my twitter bio to clear up any confusion about “Mr. Right” being confused by a fake ring!
So all that is left to do is to check with you, my blog-friend authorities. Do you think that I should get a fake ring? I know that it will not do much for a lot of the flirting, but I think that it will eliminate date invitations. And yet, I do not even like rings.
Should I really use a birthday gift card on something I do not like, just for the sake of being able to keep reading your blogs without guys interrupting me?
Haha…ok, this is SO funny. But now I’m confusing…so you really AREN’T married? Then why does it say “wife” on twitter? I’m so confused. I’m sure it’s simple, but I’ll blame it on the pregnancy brain. I would go without the fake ring…and you can just humor all those fellows…unless it really really really gets annoying…then maybe you should just wear a big fat crucifix around your neck and they’ll think you’re a nun or something, but Mr. Right will like it that you aren’t afraid to show what you believe in and he’ll double check to make sure you’re not a nun.
If you are suffering from “pregnancy brain” this it must make you more humorous, because I love the idea of wearing a big fat crucifix around my neck. Hilarius.
I *am* married, but I just wear a wedding band because I never liked engagement rings. And guys never notice the wedding ring.
Haha…oooooohhhh, ok. I get it now. Haha. How weird that they wouldn’t even notice the wedding ring! Any ring on that finger = married! People these days…no respect for marriage. You definitely could just put a cute picture of your hubby up on your desk then and everyone will get the hint =)
Elisa, glad you asked that. I was confused too. I was like, I thought she was married? But, yeah, I just have a simple band too, but I don’t recall men not noticing it. I’ve had men flirt with me, despite knowing I’m married, but I don’t think anyone’s just not known. Maybe some guys just don’t even look at your hand to check.
I’m pretty sure he didn’t look, and I have to admit that I often don’t notice rings unless there is some serious bling. Of course I am also not trying to pick people up…
As long as its for the blogs right???
And I start temping as a receptionist tomorrow. Any tips?
Right!
I’m sure you are doing very well. Just don’t let the crazy people get to you.
I think an engagement ring catches the light easier and thus is easier noticed. It’s the sparkle effect.
I definitely use the “putting left hand in the person’s view to tell them I’m not interested” whenever there is unwanted male attention. Have you tried using your left hand to brush your hair back or to prop your chin on while talking to said unwanted male?
I agree about the sparkle effect. I did try propping my left hand under my chin, but I don’t think he noticed.
I like the idea of a big ole’ crucifix. There are some especially spectacular ones in the Russian style you may consider.
Pectoral cross here I come!
Well Rae, I think the ring idea is fine but you could have dropped the hint early on. He sounds as if he was trying it on. Your the new bright-eyed lady and he is the predatory male looking for whatever he is looking for.
Perhaps you should be better prepared with answers to their questions. If he thinks there is a chink in your armour he will keep flirting with you. So, here are some ideas…”what you doing this weekend?” Answer “My husband and I are off to do xyz, and we always have a great time, I am so looking forward to it.” If he goes for the direct attack…”do you fancy a date?” Your answer should be, “as long as I can bring my husband and his two older brothers.”
I think that would work tonnes better than a ring, it won’t cost you anything on amazon and for future predators word will get around that you don’t play away. Keep us posted
You are right, but your solution requires me to pay attention. I was not in any way interested in him and I wasn’t expecting it, so I wasn’t looking for signs and preempting trouble. Also, I don’t really like to talk about my home life with people like him, even if it is making up stories about my wooonderful husband.
That said, I think that you have the best response ever to a direct request for a date. Though I think that I would say my brothers instead of my husbands.
Christine – brushing your hair back, while talking, is a huge signal saying “I’m interested.” I shows that you’re suddenly paying attention to your appearance and you want to appear to be more attractive. The best tactic is to turn slightly away as if your about to head off, it shows you have better things to do and want to end the conversation. All the best!
Haha, fair enough. I guess whenever I do that, I basically run a strand of hair through my fingers and turn my head so that my ring is obvious. But I do agree with you – sometimes being super direct is the best course of action.
I agree, but it didn’t work in this case! I kept staring at my computer screen and giving monosyllabic answers until I realized what he was up to, at which point I looked at him and responded without smiling! Some guys aren’t good on nonverbal cues!
I got to say, this was very funny
That boy was very courageous…
I think you shoud show a little bit more your wedding ring instead of buying an engagement ring, the problem is that I don’t know how but we need to know if the girl is “available”, so we won’t get upset if you show your ring or say something like “I’m married”… better say that before because we don’t want to get embarrassed.
Sorry if I didn´t write properly… english is not my first language
But I like your blog a lot! Blessings!
You write quite well. Let’s not even talk about my lack of ability to write Spanish!
I like your advice, but in real life I am probably to wimpy to be that direct. I would rather pretend that I didn’t understand what he was getting at.
Guys notice the wedding ring but they choose to ignore it! I have an engagement ring and wedding ring and was at restaurant once (with co-workers) a guy started hitting on me, and I kindly showed him my hand and said I am spoken for. His response, “doesn’t matter to me.”
Sometimes the ring attracts them more!
Exactly. I was once in Tokyo and a woman was flirting with me. I could see the ring on her finger so I asked her, “Are you married?” Her response floored me. “I am only married when I am at home, right now I am single.” I smiled and made for the door alone!
This kind of mentality, or might as well call it by its proper name, sin is getting more and more prolific. These poor souls need the witness of Christ in our lives, to be lights in the darkness. Let’s be the salt!
That is horrible!
I don’t know if an engagement ring – real or fake – makes a difference. Guys just don’t seem to notice them. Trying to place your hand in a way that it will draw attention to the ring(s) seems pointless to me. If they didn’t see the wedding band to begin with, they probably won’t ever notice it. Being up front about it is probably the only way to discourage them – unless they’re the guys who don’t care. (Eww.)
As for the women, my boss has told me that the number of women who hit on him after he was married about tripled. It’s like the ring is an extra attraction, and I completely don’t understand that.
Also, is it just me or does it seem like women are always more likely to check for a wedding ring on a man than men are on a woman?
Oh – and I do realize that I am generalizing a bit. Please don’t be offended by that.
I do think that it is generally true that women notice rings more then men, though *I* don’t typically notice them unless it is a large stone or else I am trying to figure out if she is engaged/married. Josh says that he only notices if the ring is ostentatious… though in the south I found that a fair amount of men wore rings with diamonds which seemed odd to me.
Men’s rings with diamonds must be more of a Deep South thing. I haven’t seen it much in Texas, so it’s a bit odd to me, too.
HAhaha… I hate when guys don’t take the hint. I used to HAVE a diamond engagement ring on that finger…. and STILL got hit on. I think having a quick answer is a great idea “Reading something good? Yeah, an email from my husband, they always make my day” Then you’re not trying to come up with something on the spot!
Good one! Thanks.
I would hope that guys would take the hint just from the wedding band. If not, I think they’re too oblivious to notice a wedding ring. (And if they do, they may think, “Well, it’s not like she’s married yet!”) You may be better off wearing a ring on a necklace around your neck. That’ll be much harder to miss.
I have a friend of mine who hits on girls just to help him build confidence. Maybe they’re just doing that?
Nice post!
God bless!
Could be. Thanks for the thought to consider!
Yeah, if he’d not looking at your fingers now, he probably won’t look at them when you get a (bigger) ring either. Either that or maybe he thinks your band IS your engagement ring and he still has time! I have a friend who is married with two kids but doesn’t have a wedding band, so everyone always asks her the opposite…”When are you getting married?”
Also, thanks for the reminder about how annoying temp jobs are. My sister in law is currently struggling through temping and I really should be more understanding.
So maybe rings are just confusing and we should all get rid of them. Well, except that I’m attached to mine since it is blessed. Oh well.
Good luck to your s-i-l!
Ok, thanks to Elisa I was able to go back and read the entire post and PAY attention and not be thinking ‘but, wait, I thought Rae was married!’.
I think the crucifix might just be the way to go
Sorry!
This is hilarious ha ha ha. How funny.. I think you should shy away from the engagement bling.. You cant judge a book by its cover, maybe a guy strolls in that you are not interested in but after a conversation your mind starts to change.. ya never know, right?
I do know, though! I am married, I just never wanted an engagement ring.
Both the post and comments here are making me giggle. If you already have a wedding band, I say there’s no need for a (fake) engagement ring. Just drop the “my husband and I…” and hope that works.
Glad to make you laugh!
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I think you should do whatever will make you more comfortable. Like you, I have a “Dont even think about flirting with me or I will rip your head off” attitude when it comes to men. Come to think about it..I don’t know how my husband got past that attitude..Hm.
wow. 39 comments on this post. you should stay away from the nerdy stuff more often. tee hee.
(jk. you know I love ya!)
You’re right.
I get hit on over the phone alot. Because i sound irresistable! And there is no way to flash wedding and engagement rings over the phone.
I would have thought that a wedding band would be enough. I was never really into diamond engagement rings either, so my husband bought me a sapphire one. It doesn’t look anything like a traditional engagement ring, but its everything i could have wanted. So maybe you could invest in some sort of other sparkly dress ring, that goes with your wedding band.
No idea what to do about being hit on over the phone! Thankfully I don’t have that issue much any more, though it never really bothered me.
Well, using a ring won’t stop unwanted approaches. Once I had lots of changes and losses happening in my life at the same time, I bought myself a ring and decided to “get engaged to myself”. That was like a magnet to men everywhere, it attracted so much attention that I decided to get rid of that ring. Now I am married and even with my “real” ring some men do have the nerves to try to approach and chat me up! Some people see those as a challenge, I don’t think they realise that there is a person and a life before that ring. Simply smile, be nice and say “NO”.
Oh, I know that rings don’t stop everything and have heard stories about them being man-magnets! Very good point about some people not realizing that “there is a person and a life before that ring.”
lol… as a former receptionist that was married, let me just tell you that wearing a ring often doesn’t stop the attempts at flirting.
I wouldn’t actually expect it to stop flirting. But I do think that it would have cut down on attempts at “more” in this particular organization.
Wow, I’m starting to think that receptionist is some kind of synonym of flirting, we should send letters to the Oxford Dictionary
Haha! Be sure to cc me!
Very interesting post! I’ve run into the same problem and am actually hosting a giveaway on my blog for a sparkly, fake engagement ring from Ms. Taken. If your still thinking about a ring, I hope you stop by to enter.
Ok.. I relize I am a little late, but I was searching for something else and found this article instead. I just have to add my two cents…
1st – Only Married or Engaged (or women who really want to be engaged) Notice wedding Rings. (or like someone said before.. its impossible not to notice a massive diamond, no matter who you are, but not many people have a 5 caret)
2nd – A guy approches you and you say “sorry I’m taken”.. really? Its like when the sales person says HI and you reply with “I’m just looking”… Hey, they didn’t say can I help you they just said Hi! I think pointing out the obvious is rude, maybe he is just nice.. lets be honest its alot easier to make friends with the opposit sex, right? Unless he ask if you are married or dating, keep it to yourself. Don’t assume he is into you.. maybe he notices your married, maybe thats why he is asking dating type questions.. he wants to know your opinion on date ideas since something obviously worked for you and your guy.
3rd – As long as you are confident in yourself and your relationship and you know where you stand thats all that matters.
4th – As a Receptionist you are the “Director of First Impressions” , why are your eyes glued to your screen.. talk to that person, be nice, and cheerful, and listen to what they are saying even if you could careless, smile and nod.. you are the face of that company and you set the mood for the entire office.
So, if you don’t like engagement rings don’t get one just to appese other people. The only profession I could see wearing one would be a bartender, other than that.. sounds pretty embarrassing if your wearing one and someone start asking you questions and your not even engaged. Atleast as a bartender the enviorment is too lound and fast paced for anyone to have that oppertunity to quiz you.
Haha! I reread this post to see that you’d have to be paying careful attention to get some things.
1. I am married.
2. There are many types of receptionists who play very different roles in companies. In this case the person in question was an employee who had no reason to be in the reception area other than to pick up a date.
The rest I think is fairly clear from the post and if not would be from skimming through the comments and my responses.