vaticanspy: “It’s attitudes like yours that tear down the moral fabric of our culture.” re: my announcement that I’m keeping my last name.
VitaCatholic: @vaticanspy Because we all know that modern Anglo-Saxon naming practices are essential to a moral culture.
RCGuerilla: @vitacatholic devil’s advocate: just what IS essential? who decides? are we picking and choosing here? its OK to keep my own name, but …see that lady wearing pants with the kids in sports jerseys at church, it’s HER fault we are in the shape we are in.
What is essential?
Love is essential.
For some people the question of names is essential for love, and so it really is essential. Some women cannot truly believe that they love a man unless they have visible signs of shedding their former identity and joining themselves to him. For such a woman, taking her husband’s names is essential. Other women cannot really believe that it is love unless they are fully accepted as they are without any expectation of change. For such a woman, not changing her name is essential.
For Josh and me, names are not essential to love. That left us with the option of thinking about names rationally, and determining what we thought was best for both practical and symbolic purposes.
Other things were essential though.
The status of “engaged” was essential to Josh. So we got engaged. Being able to see each other at least a few times a month was essential to me. So Josh moved. Sealing our relationship with Catholic vows was essential to both of us. We knew that wherever our marriage would go, and whatever our personal religious views might become, we wanted to start with the Sacrament of Marriage. It was essential to our love, and so we did it.
What is essential? Love. Who decides what is essential for really loving? We all do.
- Writing vs. Blogging
- I am thankful