I have a secret. I looked forward to August 2010 for two and a half years. No one knew that I was anticipating it, let alone why. Some things you just do not talk about.
Two things happened in August this year: my second wedding anniversary and my 25th birthday. I knew that they would happen in August of 2010 and I knew that for many adoption agencies, states and countries this would make us eligible to start the adoption process.
When Josh and I were dating I knew that I wanted a long engagement. And I would have been quite happy to be engaged for a year longer than we were. But I also realized that it is good to build a solid foundation of marriage before having children, and that we would need to be married for two years before we could adopt. I deeply desired children, and figured that if I had to wait at least two years I should start waiting as soon as possible!
This was not the main reason we got married when we did, but it was a very important factor in making me feel happy about getting married sooner rather than later. Right before my 23rd birthday Josh and I got married.
Then August 2010 arrived. There was absolutely no doubt about the fact that we were not anywhere near ready to responsibly welcome a child into our home.
And somehow it was alright. The world continued to go ’round, I continued to breathe, and children continued to live and die without any concern for whether I was a mother.
This too is beautiful.
- Not Married, Not Welcome?