Sometimes I need to think about why I should be sad… and work harder!
Today was one of those days when I felt like doing… nothing. It was a grey day and I am tired of grey days. I want spring.
But I got it all done because I had my must-do list and a bit of inspiration. When I feel tired and lazy there is always one way that can get me to work. Check out this or this for an example.
I just have to remember that there are many children out there in pretty nasty situations. And I could help some of them some day. But that day is going to stay far away as long as I am too lazy to get my act together and do the things I must to be able to care for a needy child. I don’t have a romanticized view of adoption or foster parenting. I know that it is emotional agony (among other draining things). I know that I am not yet prepared for it.
But I have a deep desire to be able to help make a little space a little better.
The bread which you do not use is the bread of the hungry; the garment hanging in your wardrobe is the garment of him who is naked; the shoes that you do not wear are the shoes of the one who is barefoot; the money that you keep locked away is the money of the poor; the acts of charity that you do not perform are so many injustices that you commit. -Saint Basil
The extra books sitting on my shelf can be sold to provide income to pay off debt. In the process I become not only financially able to parent, I also practice the self-denial and self-discipline which I would need to love a child. And when I hear quotes like the one from Saint Basil, I can only wonder why on earth I haven’t done it already.
If anyone who happens upon this has suggestions either for motivation or ways to prepare for parenting (or other forms of service) I would love to hear about them!
Hi there,
My husband and I started teaching the 1st and 2nd graders Sunday school at church… it has been an eye-opening experience! They are such great kids, and I’ve become much more comfy around that age group. A great way to serve. We also support a couple of girls from south and central America (I was adopted from El Salvador; one of the girls is from there) through Compassion International. We exchange letters and can send them cards/little gifts… another neat way to reach out. It’s great you’re pondering these things, I’m sure you will find your niche soon.
I’m catching up on your blog
Thanks for stopping by my blog today.
My friend Alicia (another quote-lover) is engaged in the foster-to-adopt process now. (She has endometriosis, 6.5 years of infertility, she’s on fertility medications, and oh yes… she is a nanny to 4 children and she gets daily reminders of what she so desperately wants: to be a mother).
Since she and her husband are in the “home study” phase of adoption, she talks about getting ready to parent on her blog (in between blogging about a little bit of everything).
I think you’d like her blog:
Yaya Stuff:
http://www.yayastuff.blogspot.com/
Jeanne
Also, I neglected to mention that my dear friend Alicia (mentioned above) has had multiple miscarriages.
She has worked very hard to help women who have been through similar experiences to her own!
Jeanne
healthybecause, thank you for sharing and encouragement in general. Growing up I supported various children, but I haven’t done it recently. I will have to see if I can get back into it. I just found out about a local place that serves meals and often has children come in alone. I am going to see if I can start helping there.
Jeanne, Thanks for stopping by and the link to your friends blog. I will certainly start reading it. It sounds like she has been through a lot!
Jeanne (above) sent me your way.
My husband and I are in the finishing touches of being certified for the foster to adopt process and we are extremely excited. It’s been A LOT of work. Way more stuff to do around the house than in “normal adoptions”. And 28 more hours of training than is needed for “normal adoptions”, but for us it will be worth it. I did not want to take the gamble of adopting an infant and have the birth mom change her mind (30 days after birth in NY to change her mind). That would devastate me. That’s why with this approach to adoption the kids have already been cleared for adoption. It’s a “sure thing”, which is what I need. I’ve been through so many emotional rollercoasters in trying to have children already that I just can’t take anymore.
If you have any questions about it just jot me an email!
Alicia
Thanks for sharing, Alicia! That is a lot to go through. I’ve started reading your blog and will definitely subscribe. I’m not financially ready to adopt yet, but I am trying to learn as much as possible along my way to being ready. I can’t imagine the pain of having a child in your home and then having to “return” him or her.