I realized this morning that I should write more about life because otherwise I simply will not remember it. Totally cliche, yes?

But it was quite real for me at 6:00 this morning as I lay in bed trying to remember the details of almost getting kicked out of college.

I remember that I had only been at school for a few days when I was emailed instructions to come into the office of the Dean of Students. But I cannot remember whether the email said anything about the reason for the meeting. I do not remember being distraught.  But it is difficult for me to imagine being so calm now if such a request was made with no explanation. Perhaps the righteous are bold as a lion and I was confident in my goodness, but it still seems odd to me. I wish I could remember…

Anyway, I do remember waiting in a large office area. Eventually the dean came in and I do not remember exactly how the discussion went. But she kindly made it clear that I would need to leave school if my vaccination situation were not resolved. I had never received any of the typical vaccines and the school had contacted my parents since I was 17 and not allowed to be vaccinated without parental consent. And without the vaccines I could not legally remain at the college.

I remember that I was quite calm and matter-of-fact when speaking to both the dean and my father. I left the dean’s office with nothing resolved since the school had to wait to see what my parents would do. My father ended up deciding that I would be allowed to have the vaccines since it was so important to me and since I “had such a good attitude” and was apparently calmly submitting to his authority. I remember thinking that I was not submitting at all, I simply recognized that there was nothing that I could do to change the situation.

I do not remember whether I actually received any vaccines. I know that my parents were willing to ultimately give in, but they also came up with the doctor’s note saying that I was exempt for religious reasons. Working it out based on logic rather than memory, I am actually confident that I was not vaccinated. After all, it seems likely that I would remember receiving shots since it would have been the first time in my life. And I remember that a year later the nurse thought that I would not take something related to another issue due to the note on my medical history and I had to explain to her that I did not oppose it and was now old enough to decide for myself.

It is odd to not be able to remember something that must have been so very important at the time. I suppose that I can now comfort myself during future troubles with the knowledge that I will not remember them after only a few years. But now that I do remember this I realize that I need to get a copy of my medical history and figure out what vaccines I should have. Forget research to decide what to do with future children, I must research what vaccinations I should have!

I would love to know your thoughts if you have an opinion on vaccinations, thoughts on memory problems, or remember the details of me almost getting kicked out of college ;-).

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5 thoughts on “Memory

  1. Dawn Farias

    or remember the details of me almost getting kicked out of college Ha!

    I cannot remember which teeth my children have lost. Has my oldest lost his molars? Ever? I just don’t know. I’ve had moments like you’re describing where I just can’t remember the details of important events. Weird.

  2. Christy

    My short term memory (like seriously, what happened an hour ago?) has been going lately…. too much going on.

    And as for vaccinations… I’ve gotten both the seasonal and swine flu vaccines, but I also have moderately severe asthma, and have been told that getting either one could put me in the hospital. So I am someone who has had the vaccines… but not the chicken pox, I got them the old fashioned way!

  3. CM

    Vaccines are such a hot topic sometimes! I’ve heard a lot of arguments both ways that sound good. I’m not worried about children yet, but I’m glad that I’ve had most of mine. The new ones like HPV, swine flu and so forth, I have avoided. I like drugs that have been on the market at least 10 years if possible. I like to let others be the guinea pigs! That said, if I were in a high risk group for either of those diseases, I would get the shot.

    I know what you mean about forgetting! I can’t tell you the number of times a friend says to me, “Remember when XYZ happened? Remember that person?” I rarely do.

  4. sophia

    Oh my God. That must have been freaking scary. I admire your calmness…I would have burst into tears and gone hysterical!
    I’m not very knowledgeable about the debates on vaccination, actually, so I’ll refrain from saying something stupid…tee hee.

  5. Erin

    I am often comforted during difficult times to recall how small/far away/insignificant former hard times now seem. This too shall pass. A recent blog post on motivation suggested that when you are stuck on a project, you should remind yourself of a previous project you never thought you’d get through – and yet you did. Memory is a funny thing!

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