There Is No Wealth But Life

I Hate Crock-Pots

By Rae October 2, 2010 Food 35 Comments

Slow cookers are stupid. They just are.

For starters, they are slow! Instead of having food read in 20 minutes to an hour, you get to wait all day for it!

There are a few foods, such as chili, where it makes sense to cook it all day so that the flavors can blend. But it still will not taste very good if you just dump the ingredients in the crock-pot and leave it. Either you do so and have a bland meal, or you sauté the onions etc. separately and then end up with yet more dirty dishes.

Which brings me to the fact that crock-pots are a pain to clean. You typically have to wipe down the outside as well as wash the inside. And, unless it is too small to be of much use, it probably does not fit in the dish washer. So now you have two extra pieces to wash, and both must be cleaned by hand.

And yet crock-pots make people unreasonably excited at the prospect of less food preparation work. So excited that they do not stop to think about whether it really makes any sense to use a slow cooker for any given recipe (which, of course, it never does). So then, instead of making soup, stew, or a pot roast, they use the crock-pot to make apple not-crisp or pumpkin bread! Because it is such a pain to grease a bread pan and cook the bread for 1 hour and 15 minutes, let’s grease a jar instead and wait 3 hours for the bread! So much easier! Or not.

Given my very good reasons for not liking crock-pots, you might wonder why exactly I bought one last week.

I would like to simply say that it was a really, really good price. But that is not a very good explanation since you know that my parents taught me that “it does not matter how cheap it is. If you don’t need it, it is not a good deal!”

The thing is… my otherwise brilliant husband likes slow cookers. He thinks that they are wonderful. You toss in a few ingredients, ignore it all day, and supper is miraculously ready without any effort!

Now, I know that the real reason for his unreasonably rosy view of crock-pots is that his family always uses one for “noel nibblers” aka delicious sausage mess that is always kept warm during the holidays so that hungry folk do not need to complain about dinner being 3 hours late. Clearly Josh subconsciously associates crock-pots with meat, or at least happy holidays and thus likes them for emotional rather than rational reasons.

Whenever Josh brought up the idea of getting a slow cooker I would point out all the reasons they are not-so-great. And then I would suggest some other very useful kitchen gadget that I would prefer. Like a waffle maker. Who wants a crock-pot when you could spend the money on a waffle-maker instead? Even Josh would not suggest making waffles in a crock-pot!

But then I started a new job. Now being gone from home for “half the day” means 12 hours rather than 6. So Josh, who works from home, started taking over most of the cooking.

So when I saw the crock-pot on sale I picked-it up quickly as if it were something of value that someone else might want. Because who cares if it is inefficient and makes gross food? My husband is the one doing the cooking, and he likes it!

If you think that I am all wrong and just never encountered the perfect crock-pot foods, please share recipes!

I am thankful 9/29/2010

By Rae September 26, 2010 Gratitude 6 Comments

For public transportation. Long commutes are so much nicer when one can spend them reading! And less environmental destruction is always a good thing.

For trees. Really, I rarely think about them but trees are rather nice to have and I miss them when they get sick and died.

For hairbrushes. And combs. What do people do without them?

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

By Rae September 21, 2010 Failure 3 Comments

I wrote this on April 28th and did not publish it because the negative emotions were too real. Now that I have “gotten what I need” and that involves having less time for blogging, it seems fitting to post.

I didn’t get what I wanted today. I knew that it was most likely that I wouldn’t get what I wanted. God and I have had an understanding for a very long time: I may never get what I want, but eventually, I might just get to be holy… and along the way I might be really happy to have things a husband1 that I never wanted.

But every so often I start thinking that I shouldn’t be so cynical. I should give God the chance to give me what I want. And so in addition to praying along with the Church as a whole, praying for my friends’ requests, and whatever other oh-I’m-so-holy-I-don’t-care-enough-to-doubt prayers I happen to have that day, I ask for something specific that I want. In this case I’ve been asking daily for over a month. And today it became clear that it really is not going to happen.

And suddenly I am 15 again. I can’t have what I want? Well then, I’ll just work harder. I will be perfect in every single area of my life, in every way that I can control, and then maybe I will eventually get what I want. Wait. You don’t see what this has to do with being a 15-year-old?

My parents didn’t exactly have the time or energy to figure out how to discipline me as a teen. So if I spoke to my father in a less than respectful tone he would quickly respond with the best punishment he knew: forbidding me to go to the library or something similar. I would be furious inside that I was not allowed to go to the library because I was misunderstood. A series of such incidents would lead to a breaking point and after a brief emotional meltdown in private I would resolve to be perfect. Not because I wanted to please my parents, but because perfection was the only thing that I could think of wanting. So I would clean and reorganize my room, start getting up early in the morning, stop eating, go for a run, and try to get ahead with schoolwork.

It is obvious to me now that that poor girl needed some counseling. After all, who responds to stupidly unjust punishments as a teen by seeking perfection? But she is still me.

And this evening I found myself wanting to go for a long run, despite the fact that I had already run earlier in the day. Because being in shape is part of being perfect, and if I can’t get what I want, then I can at least be what I want to be, right? And who would want to be anything other than perfect? It did not matter that I did not need to run, and that being in shape had absolutely nothing to do with what I wanted and could not have.

In weak moments, do you ever find that you are still a teenager? How do you respond to not getting what you really, really want?

1. Silly me. Every few weeks I am amazed at how wonderful Josh is and wonder why on earth I didn’t always want to get married! Thank goodness Josh was up for convincing me that I really did want to get married, even though I wasn’t aware of it.

I am thankful 9/19/2010

By Rae September 19, 2010 Gratitude 5 Comments

For work. Even on the hardest of days when I most wish that I could just stay home, I am happier working than I am staying home. Sorry, blog, but you’re just not as satisfying as actual employment.

For a blender. The wonder of a blender is that suddenly kale, flax, etc. become delicious drinkable treats. And, of course, having my vitamin powder/flax smoothies means I don’t have to deal with cramps. And who could forget the wonders of homemade hummus? I dream of someday having a Blendtec, but for now the KitchenAid is quite delightful and more than satisfactory. ::goes off to kiss blender::

For flax. Flax seeds aren’t just a great source of Omega-3s. They are also a perfect egg substitute. And, the thing is, it is easy to always have flax on hand. So even though my ethical qualms about inexpensive eggs aren’t enough to keep me from buying them for Josh, I still end up using flax for baking because it is easy and nutritious.

For perfect late summer days. Late September in DC is like late August in New England: simply glorious!

I am thankful 9/12/2010

By Rae September 12, 2010 Gratitude 8 Comments

For Josh. Every week I have to stop myself from filling my list with Joshness since one of the main points of this exercise is to realize my gratitude for things that I often fail to think about. But I have not been feeling well this weekend, so Joshness it is.

For the fact that Josh is too busy loving to care much about “roles.” And so, despite being a very traditional man, he is not stopped from loving in whatever way is appropriate. This is most convenient when what I really need is a lot of traditionally “feminine” care!

For tea. Especially the hot mint tea which, you guessed it, Josh made me.

For mashed potatoes. I used to make mashed potatoes quite frequently as a child/teen, but then I met Josh. He makes the best mashed potatoes, even if I do have to make sure that I don’t walk into the kitchen and accidentally see how much butter he uses.

For hot water bottles. Since we do not have a microwave I cannot use my heating pad. But that does not matter because Josh is kind enough to continually refill the hot water bottle for me. He often does so without me asking, and has not complained even at times when I have woken him up because I am in so much pain that I can not fill it myself.

You Are Prettier Than You Look

By Rae September 9, 2010 Things of Which We Do Not Speak 36 Comments

Makeup on, hair straightened, slouching, chubby. Not trying, yet not entirely "real."

May I tell you something without hurting your feelings? Good.

I think that you are more attractive than you appear in your pictures.

Whenever I see pictures of blog friends, I always find them less attractive than I imagine. This is the case even when I have seen pictures before. It does not matter that I know that the picture is “more real” than what I imagine, it is not what I believe to be true, so I ignore it.

Of course there are a few exceptions: you know who you are, people who only post rare perfectly edited glamor shots. But most of us just aren’t that attractive in “real” pictures. Even when you look great, you still don’t look as fabulous as you do in my mind as I read your words.

Back in the day I used to be very good about posting pictures of myself. I was aware that I might some day meet the people I encountered online, and I did not want them to find me surprisingly ugly in real life. So I deliberately posted less than attractive “normal” pictures. These days I debate removing all photographic evidence of my physical appearance.

I know that I risk offending you with this admission (you, dear reader, should not be offended since you are, of course, the exception). But I suspect that I am not the only one who feels this way.

Do you sometimes find bloggers rather like characters in a favorite book? Do you think that your imagination does a better job than the movie reality? Do you think that connecting words to the real face behind them matters?

Nothing Like Being a Receptionist to Make One Want an Engagement Ring

By Rae September 6, 2010 Good to Know 52 Comments

I spent most of last month temping as a receptionist. I like it. It keeps one humble as everyone automatically assumes that you are stupid. Plus there is lots of time to read blogs and check Twitter.

But I forgot about other aspects of what people see in receptionists.

Guy leaning on edge of reception desk: Reading anything good?
Me: No.
Sorry, Trena! Your blog is good, but I was too busy reading it to explain how great it is!
Guy: Got any plans for the weekend?
Me: No.
Actually both days were full, but I wasn’t thinking about my answer. An entirely unintentional lie. And a stupid one since I should have been paying attention to what he was asking and informed him of precisely how busy I was. But I did not care enough to really listen to him.
Me: You?
Guy: Well, I’m trying to find a date.
Me: Ah
Suddenly paying attention and dying of repressed laughter.
Guy: But it is not going very well. It is tough being young around here!
Me: Well you should try some of the interns.
Guy: Yeah, but they’re all leaving for the summer.
Me: Maybe they’re looking for one last end of summer fling. Good luck.

See, the thing is, I’m not an especially attractive woman and I’m quite happy to avoid “male attention.” This combination generally works very well. But when working as a receptionist I suddenly had to deal with a fair amount of flirting and even a desperate guy looking for a date. I am not sure if I have lost my youdon’twanttoflirtwithme skills or if simply being a good receptionist means making others feel as if they brighten your day and consequently guys imagine that you see them as irresistible.

In any case though, I found myself thinking that a bit o’ bling might have been handy. I am quite opposed to diamond engagement rings in real life, but I am not above a fake ring in order to convey the truth that I am uninterested.

I ran the idea past my loyal twitter followers and the only downsides that they came up with were that a cheap fake might turn my skin green or else make “Mr. Right” think that I was already taken. Word on the street is that Amazon has some descent non-skin-greening options and I have since added the word “wife” to my twitter bio to clear up any confusion about “Mr. Right” being confused by a fake ring!

So all that is left to do is to check with you, my blog-friend authorities. Do you think that I should get a fake ring? I know that it will not do much for a lot of the flirting, but I think that it will eliminate date invitations. And yet, I do not even like rings.

Should I really use a birthday gift card on something I do not like, just for the sake of being able to keep reading your blogs without guys interrupting me?

I am thankful 9/5/2010

By Rae September 5, 2010 Gratitude 2 Comments

For perfect warm sunny days. I am not yet ready for autumn, but this weekend’s warmth has been glorious after the summer heat!

For brothers. They are not as good as sisters, but still, quite nice. ::smirks at the only sibling who ever reads this who just so happens to be a brother::

For dishwashers. I actually enjoy washing dishes by hand, but it is wonderfully convenient to not need to do so all of the time.

10 Mistakes Homeschoolers Make

By Rae September 4, 2010 Good to Know 33 Comments

Guest Post by Josh Homeschool posts are back! Josh still has not finished his real defense of homeschooling post, but he was good enough to give his view of mistakes commonly made by homeschoolers. And all the previous disclaimers apply, plus it is just silly to be offended since this is coming from someone who not only was homeschooled, but is pro-homeschooling.

I loved homeschooling as a child/teen. I still love homeschooling. But when you’ve been in and around the homeschooling movement for 20 years, you tend to notice the mistakes which are repeated over and over again. Since I’d much rather parents figure out that something is wrong within a year or two than when their kids are finished with school, here’s my list of mistakes to avoid.

1. A lack of stability and regularity. The flexibility afforded by homeschooling is great, but it is also an easy trap which can result in insecurity and deprive children of the repetition and ritual which is crucial for learning. Regularity is not the same thing as regimentation! But everyone, especially children, needs some basic patterns in their life. If you do not have regularity and stability then you do not have an effective learning environment.

2. Neglecting subjects in areas of parental weakness. It may not even be that the parent is actually weak, just that they don’t spend time communicating it to their children. It is great if you think that literature is the most wondrous thing on earth. Your children still need to learn science.

3. Going it alone. Not getting help when you’re having academic or familial problems is just stupid.  And you are going to have problems. For academic issues, a tutor or co-op teacher can be a godsend. And for family issues, counseling is highly recommended. (Whether it is formal or not.)

4. Treating your children like they are little geniuses. Just because your children are gloriously smart does not mean you have to treat them that way. Homeschooling can very easily produce children who are smart in one area and don’t know much about anything else. The fact that they constantly impress you with how smart they are does not mean that they have a well-balanced education. And even if they are amazingly brilliant, you should be careful not to foster a sense of academic arrogance.

(Yes, I was the annoying homeschooled teenager who knew the answer to all the world’s problems if they’d only listen to me.)

5. Freaking out if your children are a little slower than normal in some subjects. Some children simply need more time with some subjects. Freaking out at anything less than perfection can compound problems and even create problems where none actually existed.

6. Not freaking out when your children are way behind. At some point it becomes very difficult to make up for lost time. You are not doing your 11-year-old son a favor by simply giving him more time to learn to read “when he is ready.”

7. Not having both parents teaching. If at all possible, you should try to give your children the benefit of both parents’ experience and expertise. Too many times I’ve seen a dad who was brilliant at math but didn’t communicate any of that to his children because homeschooling was the mother’s job. And beyond subject areas, parents tend to have different teaching styles and ways of thinking. You want to be offering both approaches so that you have a better chance of education “clicking” with your child.

8. Failing to distinguish between the learning styles of the multiple children. Even though “individualized education” is one of the most touted benefits of homeschooling, many homeschoolers don’t adjust their teaching styles and give all children same treatment. So parents get to teach with their unique teaching style, but the children are not accommodated with their individual learning styles.

9. Failing to prepare your children for higher education. In order to prepare children for the rest of their lives they should know how to deal with large classes where they are not the center of attention. They will even have to learn how to live without a teacher who is single-mindedly focused on making sure they turn things in on time, or else does not care at all about deadlines. Homeschool graduates are notorious for having no respect for teaching authority and refusing to complete assignments in the way required by professors.

(Yes, that’s me again. But what the professor was asking for was stupid!)

10. Lack of socialization. The issue isn’t that the kids don’t have plenty of activities, it is a problem of environment. Homeschool parents are far too easily tempted to know everything and control everything about their children’s social activities. Children need time to socialize on their own terms without parents around, even in the next room of the co-op.

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