Simplify to reduce stress! We all know the mantra since simplicity is somewhat trendy in our consumer society. But did you note the exclamation mark? Sometimes “simplicity” can seam like a screaming, demanding, roaring brat.
Not our car, but the same simplicity-demanding model
These days I am experiencing the stress of simplifying. Simplicity may reduce stress in the long run (I hope so) but simplifying requires change and choice, both of which are inherently stressful.
For the past year I have fought an ongoing battle to get rid of “stuff.” Unfortunately, I still have far too much to show for my efforts.
Salvation has come in the form of a move from Massachusetts to Mississippi. I convinced my husband that it would be easy to only take what we really need if we only own what we can fit in our car. Good logic, right? Sure, we love our amazing $25.00 glider purchased through craigslist, but it is hard to justify trucking it across the country.
In any case, this is what I have learned so far about simplifying the low(er) stress way:
1. Go BIG. It may sound as if I am whining about the pressure of having to get rid of almost everything all at once, but the truth is that sometimes it is easier to deal with everything at once. As a child the month of May would find me slooooooooly wading into the cold water of our pond while my sister jumped off the dock. I was sure that my way was better, but my sister would have fun in the water for a long time while I continued shivering slowly deeper. Over the past year I have found that constantly talking with my husband about eliminating little things is just about as fun as inching into a cold lake. It may be a shock, but jumping in is often easier in the end and simplifying dramatically is easier than simplifying in dreaded little pieces.
2. Go gradually. There is no need to “go big” in every way. When it comes to simplification, sometimes it is much simpler to make choices in phases rather than trying to decide all at once what one really needs. I have taken the past two weeks to go through my clothing at least four times. Each time I choose that which is most important to me. And each time I have found it easier to give away some items that I previously thought I needed.
3. Think small. Whenever I am overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff to be eliminated I find something small to accomplish. It is surprisingly invigorating to see one area cleaned out, even when it is small. The cabinet above the refrigerator is next on my list.
4. Think of others (those you love). It can be difficult to really eliminate everything that clutters one’s life when one is constantly thinking of the amount one is allowed to keep. Whether it is 100 things or a car full, when the focus is one what is allowed, one is naturally inclined to keep all that one can rather than simplify as much as possible. The best antidote for me has been to think of my husband. Sure, I could keep that extra pair of shoes since it will fit in my half of the trunk, but if I give it up my husband can keep an extra book. Thinking of how my choices will impact those I love makes decisions to give easy. I am not simply giving clothing to a local charity, I am giving simplicity to those who share my life.
5. Think of others (the underprivileged). Your parents’ reminder to “think of the starving children in Africa” may not have helped you eat as a child, but realizing that just about everyone else in the world lives with less should help you simplify. This past week I had the privilege of getting myself to Lawrence, MA at 5:45am to serve breakfast. My appreciation for hot showers and warm beds skyrocketed and my concern for keeping pie pans died completely. If the thought of giving away all the stuff you do not really need is not enough to inspire you, try giving away a little time to gain perspective.
6. Remember why you want to simplify. Simplicity, just like stuff, should have a purpose. Remembering this purpose will make simplifying enjoyable, if not easy. It will also require you to simplify in a certain way. I want to simplify so that I can really live well. I want ease of movement and I want meaningful time with others. On days that I forgot my purpose and focused only on getting rid of stuff, I wanted to cry from stress. But when I remembered my purpose in simplifying I spent significant time exercising, praying, reading, and talking with my husband, and it was good.
7. Make time for simplifying. You will be stressed if you do not have sufficient time to accomplish your goal. Tossing out half of your belongings on a Saturday morning may sound great, but it might also lead to a panic attack as you try to sort through everything. Do yourself the favor of formally scheduling time to simplify, and schedule twice as much time as you actually “need.” My husband suggested that I give notice at work early so that I could have two weeks to dedicate to the move. It has made all the difference in the world in allowing me to be happy rather than overwhelmed. It does not have to take two weeks to reduce one’s possessions from filling a 2-bedroom apartment to fitting in a car, but having time has enabled me to enjoy living through simplifying rather than simply throwing out everything that we do not need.
A little over a year ago I began setting goals by my menstrual cycle. Each month I take time during menstruation to think about life and what I want to accomplish in the upcoming month. I write down a few goals in a notebook to check on my progress throughout the month. At the start of my next cycle I review the past month’s goals. Often some goals remain incomplete, or at least still relevant, and I use them to start my list of goals for the next month.
I do not have to live with the cultural demands of ritual impurity, but I do have to live with endometriosis and a level of pain that is much worse when I move. So when the pain lessens enough that I can think, I contemplate my current state in life and decide on what I want to achieve in the next month. Who do I want to become? Other than a bleeding woman, of course. 
During the move a box of kitchen/bathroom supplies somehow disappeared. Among the items lost was my 
available on Amazon and use it with the cheapest of non-iodized salt. You can buy all sorts of expensive salts etc. but I do not see the point so I have not tried them. When it came time for last minute Christmas gifts I grabbed a non-breakable 
at Whole Foods for my mother. I was right, it is the sort of thing that my mother would use. But I don’t recommend the non-breakable pot unless you have a problem with children smashing things, because the plastic just is not as nice as the ceramic.