There Is No Wealth But Life

Tenebrae

By Rae April 14, 2009 Life, Prayer 7 Comments

This is a short clip from last week’s Tenebrae service at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross. Forgive all quality issues, I was trying to pay attention to the service.

Even though Tenebrae is an ancient tradition, I only learned about it a few years ago. My current parish does not have Tenebrae so I was quite happy that I do not live far from the cathedral.

Tenebrae is about entering into darkness. You can check out the Sisters of Carmel for a longer explanation if you like. The service I attended was held after dark on Holy Wednesday; it can also be held very early in the morning, especially on Holy Saturday. It consists of sung or chanted prayers which are taken from sad Psalms, Lamentations etc. The church is gradually darkened after each section. Candles are extingushed until the last candle is hidden and church is entirely dark. It is amazingly sad, dark, and lonely.

I suspect that to some of you it must seem like beautiful heresy. Why seemlingly celebrate darkness when Jesus came as light?

The celebrant’s homily provided a suscint answer: Tenebrae gets at the essence of Christianity through rememberance. It stands against a culture of amnesis (forgetting) which insists on pretending that everything must be happy to be valuable. Jesus Christ did not live victoriously by this world’s standards. He suffered greatly, not only on the cross, but also alone in a garden at night.

The Catholic Church does not require her children to observe Tenebrae, or even Good Friday services. We are expected to take part in Mass on Easter Sunday  to celebrate the Resurection (this is required every Sunday), but the only specific requirment for observing the suffering of Christ is to fast on Good Friday. And even that is pretty minor compared to other religions’ fasting requirements.

Even though the Catholic Church does not require participation in services which mark the sadness of Christ’s suffering, I am increadably greatful that she offers them as an opportunity for people like me who need help with suffering with Christ so that we may also be glorified with Christ (Romans 8:17).

It is good to have an innocent faith. I have friends who can happily trust God as an almost overprotective father who gives them every good thing and wipes away every tear. I am happy for them as it is good to have childlike faith and innocent entitlement. But God has not seen fit to protect me from trial. As many times I tried to simply “have more faith” the result was the same: God does not protect me from suffering. God lets me bleed. God allows me to suffer physically. God allows me to suffer in relationships. God allows me to suffer financially. God allows me to struggle with no support from friends. God allows me to feel as though there is no child who is protected from abuse. Thankfully God has not required me to suffer from those simultanously! But there is enough to make me so very greatful for a God who does not simply offer us a happy Easter story. Jesus did not merely die and rise again for us. He suffered for us, and in his suffering he offers us Life.

My plan is to cultivate this lesson during Easter (we Catholics celebrate Easter until Pentecost, so Easter lasts for 50 days!) by memorizing 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God.
For as Christ’s sufferings overflow to us, so through Christ does our encouragement also overflow.
If we are afflicted, it is for your encouragement and salvation; if we are encouraged, it is for your encouragement, which enables you to endure the same sufferings that we suffer.
Our hope for you is firm, for we know that as you share in the sufferings, you also share in the encouragement.

I would be thrilled to read any thoughts you have on Christ’s suffering, Easter, etc!

Whiter Than Snow

By Rae April 4, 2009 Happy Days, Life 6 Comments

Snow, snow, whiter than snow

As a child we used to sing the words “Whiter than snow, yes whiter than snow. Now wash me and I shall be whiter than snow.” And I always thought of the piles of dirty snow in spring. Yes, I knew what the songwriter meant. But my eight-year-old mind still automatically thought of dirty snow and how I did not think that “whiter than snow” was especially impressive. Couldn’t they at least have said “whiter than a freshly fallen snow” or something like that?

I am older now, but I still do not “know better”. My mind is rebellious. I Instinctively question poetical metaphors tossed my way. So many of them simply do not work for me. Alas. Maybe someday I will be that wonderful older woman who talks endlessly about “roses in December” and “sunsets”.

But for right now I am simply thrilled that the snow pile pictured above is gone. I took the picture less than a week ago. After last night’s rain, it is no more. That is a wonderful thing since the “snow” metaphor does not fit with my idea of Easter.

Happy Palm Sunday! Thank God the snow is gone!

Washing Produce

By Rae April 2, 2009 Food, Good to Know, Health, Life 10 Comments

Washing produce

How do you wash your produce? In the picture above, mine is sitting in a tub of vinegar and salt water for about fifteen minutes before I thoroughly rinse it with filtered water. It then air dries and I will rinse it with water again immediately prior to use.

I have to admit though, I have no idea what is the best way to clean produce. There does not seem to be much evidence supporting the commercial vegetable washes and it is hard for me to believe that there is nothing better than just water.

NPR once ran a story asserting that a water rinse is best. But another story later implies that vinegar really is useful. I figure that, if nothing else, having the scent of vinegar on my produce makes sure that I really clean it thoroughly!

I am not sure about the salt though. I once heard that it helps kill things1 and draw out bugs which may not be effected by the vinegar. But… eh, who knows? I doubt that it does any harm since it is yet another reason to make sure that my water rinse is thorough.

Of more concern is whether vinegar is enough. Is it worth dumping in a bit of hydrogen peroxide as I sometimes do? I just do not know.

Does anyone have advice, thoughts, links to solid research, or crazy stories you’ve heard from your best friend’s grandpa?

1. Who knows what “things” are? Who wants to know?!

Pregnancy Readiness Test

By Rae April 1, 2009 Funny Thing Is, Life 12 Comments

When deciding whether to become pregnant most women focus on whether they are ready to support a child. That is, of course, all well and good. It is nice to know that one has all the extras settled. But what about the urgent questions? You know, “am I prepared to serve as the cosmic compost pile for all of the world’s unsolicited advice?” etc.

I was reminded of the importance of such questions this evening while waiting in line at the grocery store. A Very Pregnant Woman (henceforth VPW to differentiate her from the “sort-of pregnant women” out there) was being questioned by the Person Bagging Groceries (PBG).

PBG: Oh! You’re pregnant!
Me: No! She did not know that!
PBG: Do you know what you’re having?
Me: A little green monster?
VPW: A boy.
PBG: Do you have the name picked out?
VPW: No.
Me: Ha. Smart woman. She is probably tired of people telling her that Mildred Ethel Lastname is not only a girl’s name, it is an ugly one at that.
PBG: Oh. Well, may I suggest a name?
Me: Only if you’ll start bagging the poor woman’s groceries more quickly. She looks exhausted!

I know that this was most likely nothing compared to all the other things this woman deals with, but for me it was a good reminder to consider all the things one must consider before deciding that one is ready for pregnancy. Thus I present The Pregnancy Readiness Test. Ask yourself:

1. Do I enjoy being frisked by strangers?
If the answer is “YES!” then maybe I am ready to be pregnant. There is nothing like a round belly to shout to the world that one is just dying to be touched. There is a reason we give children teddy bears and dolls that laugh when you squeeze their stomachs. We know that some day these children will encounter a pregnant woman and they need to be trained to automatically touch the woman.

2. See #1.

3. See # 1.

Well, maybe that wasn’t so complicated after all. Since the readiness test is so easy, there is no reason to skip it!

Small Steps Toward Clean

By Rae March 31, 2009 Life 7 Comments

One of my non-official Lenten resolutions1 was to clean out my physical surroundings at the same time as I prepared for Easter internally. The results so far are mixed. I do not feel like my apartment is any cleaner; in fact I think it is messier.

But Amazon tells me that I have sold 80 books since the start of Lent, and that is good. I really, really, needed to release my attachment to books. Libraries are great and I do not need to keep extra things around simply because I like them.

Books to ship

A pile of books ready to be taken to the post office

1. Tell me that I’m not the only one who has these. You know, the things you want to do (or not do) that you do not commit to because you do not feel like really pushing yourself as hard as possible?

A Beautiful Day in the Pain Neighborhood

By Rae March 28, 2009 Health 6 Comments

The weather was amazing today. For me the weather is much more than a trite topic. After a long winter (does winter always seem long?) I feel as if I need years of sun to make up for the short, cold days endured. Today was bright and warm. I wanted nothing more than to run outside.

Instead I settled for the sun which came through the open window as I lay on the floor curled around my heating pad.

Today was a beautiful day, but it was a beautiful day which served simply to remind me that I am not living fully. Chronic pain is only so useful. Mine seems particularly meaningless. It is not meaningless in the “oh, how tragic!” sense. It is meaningless in the sense that I make little use of it. Perhaps if the pain were more significant it could be meaningful for me. But as it is, the pain is simply pain. I am tired of it, and I get nothing out of it. I know about working with pain to bring one closer to God. But at this point the pain seems so mundane. I am accustomed to it so it does not have a sharp, purifying effect. It simply is. And it simply makes me shuffle through my days with little purpose other than avoiding more pain.

My goal is to get healthier so that I will have the strength to dive into more pain if necessary. I want to be just enough better so that I can force myself to go for a jog on days like today. Yes, it will hurt more at first, but such pain is necessary for recovery.

I want to live fully. I want to have the strength to work through the pain to run to health. I want to be unreservedly thankful for beautiful days. I don’t want to keep lying on the floor wishing that I could really live the day I see.

Spring: Yet Another Post about Statues

By Rae March 27, 2009 Happy Days 2 Comments

Spring BVM StatueLook at that grass! It may not look especially nice to you, but to me it means spring. The grass is not especially green and there are still patches of snow piles around, but I knew that it was spring once there was no snow in front of the statue of the Blessed Mother. Most every Catholic church that I have been to has a statue of Mary outside. They are sometimes hidden around back, or even in the woods, but they are almost always there.

I like to stop in front of the statue to pray a few quick prayers after Mass. Each winter I have to stand back further because of the snow in front of the statue. And I know that it is really spring when I can once again walk near the statue to pray.

Do you have any personal religious rituals which end up marking the seasons for you?

Nasty-Looking, Yummy-Tasting Granola Blondies

By Rae March 26, 2009 Food 10 Comments

1

Last week I read CookiePie’s post about her Chubby Hubby blondies. And I wanted them. RIGHT NOW! But of course I couldn’t make them without making a few changes to make them a little healthier. Okay, I made a lot of changes. My philosophy is that one should eat well, but there is no reason to not work for “well” in terms of health as well as taste.

My bars did not look anywhere as good as CookiePie’s, but they tasted good. How good? Good enough for my Real Southern Boy  husband to rate them “either 4.5 or 5 out of 5″. YES! He probably only thought they were full of fat because, well, Reese’s are full of fat. But I remain quite satisfied with getting away with granola (homemade with flax, of course) and kefir in a “junk food” bar.

And thus I present to you delicious granola blondies gone healthy/ier. Don’t expect a dry granola bar like the type you’d take on a hike. Think of a hearty, moist, sweet bar with a rich mix of flavors.

Ingreadients:

  • 2 eggs
  • 3/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup kefir or plain yogurt
  • 1 T. vanilla
  • 1 cup flour
  • 1 t. baking powder
  • 1/2 t. salt
  • 2 cups granola
  • 1 cup Reese’s peanut butter cups chopped
  • 1/2 cup Reese’s pieces

Mix together eggs, brown sugar, kefir, and vanilla. Gradually add in flour, baking powder, and salt. Mix in granola and candy. Poor into a 9″ pan and bake at 350° for 25 minutes. Cool before cutting.

Happy Day

By Rae March 23, 2009 Happy Days, Health, Life 5 Comments

Yesterday I had the happy realization that I did not know where to find my heating pad. It was my almost-constant companion for months. But now I have not used it for 3 weeks! I did not realize this until I wanted it yesterday. Normally it would be by the bed, or computer chair, or kitchen table, or anywhere I am.

I ended up finding it in its rightful storage space: the closet. This is the first time it has stayed in the closet for long enough for me to forget exactly where it is! I am so very thankful.

This sort of thing makes it very easy for me to not weigh myself on Sundays during Lent. It is certainly allowed1 but it just does not fit. Enjoying sweets or taking a break from early rising or some such thing seems fitting for celebrating Sunday. But stopping to focus on numbers on a scale? I don’t think so. For me it is far more valuable to use Sundays as a chance to give thanks for walking 3 miles without pain, and “losing” my heating pad.

1. Sundays are not penitential since they are the day we celebrate the Resurrection. So Lent is really a Monday-Saturday thing for 6ish weeks.

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